1.4. Dipawali in the family of my heart
- learngrowlove
- 6 nov. 2017
- 6 min de lecture
Dernière mise à jour : 3 mars 2021
Back to Pokhara. Naren welcomes me to his place. A great friendship and complicity are connecting us. We talk about memories in Muktinath and Lupra, nature in the heart of mountains. This meeting was quite funny, so spontaneous. It would never have happened if I had a guide, if I had not chosen by the greatest chance a place to sleep ... A lot of ‘if’ that are useless. In any case, chance nor coincidence does not exist if we embody what we do.
We spend the week wandering around the city, taking a shower at the waterfall, climbing the hills on foot or on a motorbike, spending time with his friends, with his brothers, in a motorcycle repair shop. This workshop place, all these details that I observed carefully inside, Anis who take a scooter into piece and put them back together, the dudh chya (milk tea) I will never forget. A haven of peace.
All these moments are not especially interesting to everyone because they do not have the same value in my eyes. Everyone knows this feeling of having lived a week full of events rather normal but which become unique and exceptional thanks to their amount of humanity; rare and pure.
This is my way of traveling.
I make his family laughing, coming to them with my ideas and the madness of the trek or the motorbike. It is out of the question that a Nepali girl walks alone in the mountain... Sometimes I hope it will change. It’s the matter of only one who can show that she is not afraid and others will follow.
Naren's family is amazing, all welcome me with a heartily joy. I feel that this joy is sincere because sometimes it is only the Nepalese culture that imposes a smile: the host is king. Even at the beginning Naren worried: "I don’t know if you will feel good ‘cause we don’t have a proper shower". The solution is that we don’t go to Nepal to take showers, hot in addition. During the 8 days, I do everything to get down from this hierarchy that does not exist. I try to wash the dishes, do the laundry, to question them: “why do they eat after us?” So I take the initiative to persuade them that "yes of course, we can eat together as family!". Little victory.
In the morning, around 4am, Amma and Sister get up to take shower. It is an important step of their day because without it, they cannot enter the kitchen. Then at 5:45, Grand-Pa begins his prayer and stop at 7am. He recites in a soft and monotonous voice a great number of mantras from various Hindu books, including one written in Sanskrit.
When I look at him, his eyes are deep and bright. As we are five sleeping in the same room, I doze until 6:30 rocked by the divine words that mix in imaginations of my dreams. Frankly, his voice intonation and this language are extraordinary. One feels good, surrounded by a veil of peace.
The happiness does not last very long before clouds bring back some shadow (but no panic, after the rain the good weather!). Nago's family is not rolling on gold. Water comes only once a day through a pipe, at random times; their two-room house is a furnace under the sun and I imagine an ice cube during the winter. Everyone seems to be happy, but finances are not a pointless problem. Naren and his brother gave each other the word: “Amma stays home, we bring the money”. Once, the whole family worked in the Middle East which is not a long-term option... So, when I come nicely with my smile and my savings, none of them is employed and they must feed 5 to 7 mouths. So Amma goes shopping and stocks up water and food. Of course she can laugh out loud but she is worrying too. Fortunately, apprehension does not eat them away, they continue to live, to love that, to prepare meals, to repair the fence that separates the mini gardens, to grow millet, to milk their two cows. They are just waiting for things to change, in a better way.
When we get home after the daily getaway to learn motorbike, we often find the family and some neighbours sitting under the sun in front of the door discussing about nothing and everything, news of so-and-so abroad, of acquaintances in Kathmandu and of course about the future. I sit down and savour in silence those moments where even the holes in the conversation are greeted with joy and peacefulness.
Naren kept the promise he made in the kitchen while we were in Muktinath. One of my projects in Nepal was to learn to ride a motorcycle as a training for a roadtrip in India. With the friend of his brother Anis, he made everything so easy so we could rent one for 5 days. A Honda discover 125cc. He tells me very quickly the purpose of the commands, but I had already studied a thousand times the thing from my bus seat in traffic jams, watching and drooling on two-wheels engines.
So now riding and sitting behind the tank for the first time in my life, I am the happiest girl on earth. He tells me that at the end of the third day sitting in the back that he does not have the license and that he does not really know how to drive well. It does not scare me. He adds that he trusts me and I stop doubting at the end of the 4th when I realize the achievement after crossing a road from hell. Wow. I can drive bike. Now it is time to see if it's still feasible on Indian roads between holes, heavy traffic and mad drivers.
Dipawali (also Diwali among the Indians) is one of the many Nepalese festivals, however one of the most important. It lasts five days, from October 17th to 21st, an animal is worshiped every day with a tikka (dog, cow and I forgot). The party even continued until the 23rd. People dance in the street, make giant family meals, there are colorful garlands everywhere that hang from the buildings, beautiful atmosphere where it is good to walk for hours. It's another Christmas. Families invite beloved members and put in their forehead in a 7-color tikka, eat together, give each other gifts and money. Put tikka is a very strong act. It marks a new relationship (brother-sister, a little like godfather), a small responsibility, an act of love, the expansion of the family.
October 21st, we drive some 120kms to visit cousins / sisters (sometimes I get lost in these huge families). The mother had a first marriage, but she was abandoned by her husband who was allowed to get married a second time, for some reasons. There are only women at home and they really appreciate that Naren could make the trip to put sister's Tikka. Between girls, the gift changes a lot.
Driving makes me complete, the concentration on the road and self-learning puts me in a trance. When we arrive, I do not say a word, I do not want to cry but I fell the tears in front of the purity of the moment. It touches me. Naren's gesture is more than important to them. Sitting on the ground, they focus on the tikkas, put them, still do not realize that my friend visits them. Pictures, Dal Bhat for everyone, the first guests served obviously ... A conversation follows filled with jokes, hilarious stories from the Grandmother, anecdotes that makes you forget the sad things for a while. I like the fact that they do not ask me a thousand questions and do not put me in the middle of the conversation. At this moment, I am like another member of their family.
On the way back to the bike, I take the hand of sister and we are grateful to each other. That day, she feels happier than other days. I cannot know if she has a lot of problems that can make her sad but we try to do our best.
After the 'long-distance' exercise where I can control the gear, we go on with the exercise 'mountain road and start while being uphill' which gives me several stalls. Fortunately the bike is light and does not destabilize me. We drive to Sarangkot, one of the highest points on the surrounding hills. Paragliding departures, a small temple, a few cafes and greasy spoon, a view from our dream...
And then the week goes by ... Each day reinforces my empathy and love for this family I adopted, each day is full of new experiences, explorations, learnings, writings.
Other travellers may or may not have a great memory of Pokhara because of the lakeside and its tourist avenue that makes us feel more in Europe. But for sure I will come back to Pokhara for another reason because I have a family who lives in Nayabazar and I’ll have to see them once again.
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